The best thing since sliced bread

...is not eating it. How is that even possible when you think of that glorious oven baked goodness?

Well maybe it's not all types of bread, but there is a saying "The whiter the bread, the quicker you're dead." And that makes a lot of sense if you think about the processed nature of the grains that make Wonder Bread. No longer whole, the endosperm of the grain is ground and bleached with chemicals, then probably dipped into a pool of liquid evil. I'm just guessing. When ingested, it gets gummy just like a jelly sandwich that has been too long in your locker. This slimy bread substance then proceeds to coat the cilia of your intestines, rendering them incapable of absorbing nutrients. (Assuming you ate something nutritious with your bread.)

Until further notice I'm on Ezekial sprouted grain bread, but mostly just avoiding altogether.